Chemo & Radiation - Day 1

Hi Everybody- I hope this message finds your spirits high and surrounded by love.  Today was the first day of my Radiation and Chemo.  Needless to say, I was scared and a little freaked out that this is actually happening and I am going to subject myself to this sadistic ritual.  I arrived for my Radiation and I am in the machine in 10 minutes - its humming and parts are moving around and I am staring at the ceiling of blue skies, with Wisteria vines all around while I am knuckle clutching that little blue rubber ring like its a life preserver.  I don't feel a thing but I can see my reflection in the ceiling surrounded by purple flowers while the humming gently scorches my insides. How did I get here in just 3 short weeks?  Closing my eyes and trying to control my breathing within a few minutes later - it's over and the girls come in and help me back to the dressing room.  I am staring at myself in the long mirror half dressed, half dazed and confused.  I then I remember to start lathering cream all over me.  Stay ahead of the burns/pain/sickness/cancer! This fucking sucks!  I gather myself and go to the waiting room where my doting husband, Matt is working and waiting for me.  We sit for a while and I watch him type, nothing to say really.  It didn't hurt.  We have time before Chemo so we head to the hospital cafeteria - food is good, nice selection, I have a small salad and potato soup.  We chat and people watch.  I never spent much time in hospitals besides having my babies.  I realize I will be seeing a lot of this place in the near future.  Everyday at 2:30.

1:00 the witching hour and we arrive at the Oncologists office and Chemo Treatment room.  First they weigh me and I am already down a few pounds. Then the nurse puts the giant thumb tack in me and I wasn't meant to see it but the Doctor opened the door to say Hi and we all jumped.  She took lots of blood and now I have a tube hanging from my port... Sexy... She escorts us to the Chemo Room - I know  the look of shock and horror comes over me as I see every chair is taken and people from all walks of life are getting their treatments.  I want to cry and hug them.  My heart starts pounding and I think I am going to faint.  I feel like I don't belong here.  I am freaking out. A nurse sees my crazy eyes and immediately takes me to a quiet room for my chemo. I settle down and a jolly nurse named, Joe comes and takes my hand. He is trying to calm me so we can get started.  Once I regain my composure, we begin with injections and saline.  A nutritionist comes to talk to me about food and I am looking at her but don't hear a thing as I watch out of the corner of my eye the Blue Mito slowly beginning injected through the tube and I drift like I can feel it running  through my veins.  I taste metallic and I am ready to be done.  Joe comes back with the 5FU pack and starts to demonstrate how to not screw it up and watch for kinks.  We leave shortly after and Matt is holding my hand.  He said you did it! I am thinking - that wasn't so bad. Day 1 is in the books! Amen

Thom likes this post.
3 people threw a punch at your cancer.
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Oh Stacy!! I can so relate to this!! That feeling of how in the hell did I end up

here






is still fresh in my mind and it's been



over 5 years! I can remember smiling and saying I was fine when the nurses ,etc would


ask and inside I was just screaming noooooo!! I'll never forget that


feeling...but that being said it is in the past and life is good.You will be amazed at how fast the treatment is...it's brutal, but short. There will be bumps in the road but sounds like you have people to love you through it. Be good to yourself..and we are here when you need to vent and scream. ♥️
6 people like this comment
Good for you Stacy!!! First day down. I remember it so well, and your commentary is SO descriptive—and even entertaining—that I hope you keep that up every day! It will be therapeutic, and you will find so much helpful information from all of us who have gone through what you are experiencing right now. Just keep the positive thoughts coming, and we will continue the positive energy right back in your direction. Love to you!
Olga likes this comment
Your post brought it all back. I am 5 years post treatment and happy to say that I am cancer free! I will be thinking of you and praying for you. Keep your sense of humor.
Olga, Allseitz like this comment
First day is over, Stacy. Try to hydrate yourself more, keep your weight stable, get enough rest. Sending your way positive vibes and big hugs!
Easterly likes this comment
Stacy, Your post took me back almost 10 years. (My last treatment was February 16, 2010). I am in the metro Atlanta area too. Lilburn. You sound like you are in good hands. Everything you need to know is here from the brave people who have been there. Stay positive.

Linda
Olga, Shannon like this comment
Yikes it was like reliving it again.
You did good, and I'm glad you get something out of writing it down. It will also help others.
Hugs
Olga likes this comment
WOW...onward! Those first days glide you in...just take it one day at a time.

And for you and that husband...get advice NOW about avoiding vaginal stenosis as a result of the pelvic radiation...UW clinics recommend starting with dilators at the beginning of the treatment, not to wait! More on my website, www.analcancerhelp.info....my radiation oncologist was not able to talk about sex life and so I only learned what could happen when I headed out to a gyn appointment after treatment and the doc had to use a child-size implement...

HUGS
Stacy likes this comment
Sounds so similar to my Day 1. You are on your way to kicking cancer's butt and I know you can do it!
Good for you! Knowing that you have started, will now evolve into a routine. Bless your hubbie for taking care of you, mine never let me go alone, even though I cold have. Support is SO important! BTW, did they tell you you could not take a shower until Friday? They told me, but the real deal is you cannot get the port site wet. So I got in the tub with my husband's help, he guided the fanny pack to keep it dry and away from the tub. Just have to be really careful with the top half, but the bottom half gets a good soak, which is important. He washed my back for me too. Then we reversed the procedure to get out. Those baths are very important!
I remember every single emotion you have described. Hang tough, you've got this, and we've got your back! (side) lol (told you we are a sick bunch!)
Stacy likes this comment
I’m so glad you made it thru the day. Way to go. Before you know it will be over. I also felt so bad for everyone I saw getting chemo. It was heart breaking. My nurse wanted to explain everything she was doing. I looked at her with crazy eyes and said I don’t want to know when it is going in my body so stop telling me stuff. They gave me a big dose of Xanax! And everything was fine after that. Lol!
Stacy likes this comment
so much truth for all who have been there.
Stacy likes this comment
Ditto what everyone else said! And yes the first day is a little surreal. Keep in touch with the nutritionist as she will be helpful through all this. Super important to drink tons of water everyday this week with the chemo pack to stave off nausea and dizziness. Seriously drink way more water than you ever have - room temperature is best and shoot for 10 glasses a day. We are all here for you as well.
D
Shannon likes this comment
I can relate to the emotions. My cancer was in my Tonsil, Metastatic, but the tx was same length; 27 radiation tx's and 6 chemo for a total of 6 weeks. Six weeks out of your life so you can get well and enjoy your life once again. Blessings.
I can so relate to this Stacy. You'll get through this and were here for you all the way! A year ago I was waiting for my treatment,dignosed 11/5 treatment started with Chemo and Radiation the same day,12/17,my 72nd birthday. Keep the determination up to get through this,you'll do it!! Sending prayers for you
U HAD A NUTRITIONIST!!!???
I WAS TOLD...EAT WHAT YOU LIKE AND CAN TOLERATE!
GLAD YOU DONE GOT THRU THE 1ST DAY.....NOW ITS JUST REPEATING THE COLD RADIATION ROOM LAYING THERE MOSTLY NAKED AND THE CARING TECHS/NURSES TRYING THEIR GOD BLESS EM HARDEST TO NOT SEE YOU NAKED....THEY KEPT PUTTING THE TOWEL TO COVER UP MY PENI AND I'M LIKE---"WHO CARES---ITS NOT THE FIRST NOR THE LAST TIME YOU'LL SEE IT OR ME NEKED!!"
HANG IN THERE...ONE DAY AT A TIME
It's been 4 1/2 years (Stage 3A) - and cancer free but just reading your recollection of your first day of treatment brought me right back. I felt the same feelings - shock but keep going- going through the motions.
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Vital Info

Posts

October 28, 2019

Roswell, Georgia 30076

March 10, 1966

Cancer Info

Anal Cancer

October 23

Stage 3A

Yes

Mitomycin

Removal of a small hemorrhoid but turns out I have anal cancer. No other symptoms

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